Depression and Avoidance Behavior

You have a project due for school or work in two days that is stressing you out. You know you need to work on it today, but you find yourself on facebook or visiting a news website or on your iPhone playing a game instead. You know this project will take at least a couple of hours, but there are other things that are more fun and help you forget about the stress. The closer you get to the due date, the more stressed out you become. Not facing the stress or problem is part of avoidance behavior. Avoidance is the one habit most people with depression experience.

Avoidance is the body’s natural response to stress. In the past, avoidance would help humans be on alert for predators or other threats, but most of the time we don’t have dangerous animals chasing after us anymore. In our modern era, stress can overwhelm people causing depression and daily avoidance behaviors. For those who are depressed, many activities can be seen as threats. Looking at a resume can raise the threat of not finding a job. Asking a friend to get coffee may raise the threat of rejection.

Another factor in depression can be a loss of energy. This lower energy can cause them to invest that energy in only the essential activities to get through the day. A major sign of avoidance is when a person stops doing regular activities, especially ones they really loved. There may be a loss of their sense of achievement and withdrawal from social activities; thus, less support for their illness. They can become trapped in a cycle of inactivity. Previously easy tasks become more difficult to complete and their routine seems insurmountable.

Avoidance behaviors build up over time. You can slowly start avoiding an activity, such as going to fewer and fewer social events. A person might take on an adaptive process, like starting to drink a little too much every once in a while to avoid their feelings of frustration and anxiety, but their avoidance will build until they’re intoxicated every single day.

Avoidance can feel good, so what’s wrong with it?

Avoidance doesn’t help solve problems or improve mood. Instead, it keeps those problems alive, because you aren’t facing them. If you lose a loved one, you might try to avoid sadness but it keeps you from grieving. Or maybe you have a stack of bills that you let pile up because of your anxiety of looking through them and having to pay them. It can make it much more difficult to go through them later when your balances have escalated, adding to your anxiety or depression.

How do you know if your behavior is really avoidance? What if it’s forgetfulness or a natural tendency toward procrastination? Here’s to help you judge:

Avoidance is a pattern starting with a trigger, leading to a response, then the avoidance behavior. There are many types of triggers, often emotional. Someone says something encouraging to you (positive trigger), and you are happy. Someone is critical (negative trigger), and you become sad or angry. It’s natural for human beings to respond emotionally. The triggers for avoidance behavior are negative. You respond to that trigger and then start the avoidance pattern.

Let’s say, Margaret goes to a club or an event a couple of times to try to make friends or meet a romantic partner and comes away each time feeling rejected and lonely, she might slowly stop going out and spend more time at home instead. She becomes depressed, which only worsens, because she’s avoiding the places where she could meet people who could offer their encouragement to her. It becomes a cycle that’s difficult to break. Social avoidance is not the only avoidance pattern that people experience.

A key avoidance pattern is procrastination: not attending to a difficult or unpleasant task until some future time. Another avoidance pattern can be rumination, where you think deeply for a long time without taking action. You can also numb yourself or space out as a way to avoid negative feelings. Even complaining can be used as avoidance.

Avoidance behavior patterns are difficult to break, especially during depression. Part of the change comes from turning avoidance into an alternative, more positive, form of coping. You can practice self-soothing, go for a walk, take a bath, watch a movie, exercise or have coffee with friends. There are many alternatives besides letting feelings control your situation. Experiment with what works best for you.